The Reveal (and other stuff)

So here's how it went down, in a large nutshell:

I wanted to be pregnant. I was waiting to be pregnant. (And Ben would say that is the understatement of the year. :)
But I had gotten a negative before and had pretty much sworn off all tests with a pink line for the time being. They were not my friend. I needed to save my sanity.
So when I was on my way home from work one afternoon in August, and my car decided to turn into CVS, I was a little dazed. I'm not losing it, I thought to myself. It was literally like "Wait? Why did I just pull in here?". So I go in, browse around, and whaddyaknow, EPT is on sale. Well, there's my sign. I'm always a sucker for a sale.
So I get up the next morning, and see two pink lines.
UM.
Wait.
Seriously??
I really think I'm seeing things.
This cannot be true. This would be too amazing to be true.
So get home that afternoon and try again.
Two pink lines.
OH. MY.

Ben gets home half an hour later, walks in the door and starts telling me about his day. I'm so racked with nerves, all I hear is "Wohwahwohwah" like Charlie Brown's school teacher or something. I can't even follow what he is saying.
I think he noticed this, and stopped and looked at me.
"Whats up?" he says
"Uhh. .."
"Everything ok?"
"Yeah! Ummm.. "
(at this point I realize all those daydreams I had about romantic fun ways I would tell my husband we were having a baby went out the window. I had to get it out. Right. Now.)
"Well," I finally stutter, "I guess its a good time for you to be going to Vegas" (He was leaving the next day)
"Why is that?" As he slowly gets this semi-I-may-know-whats-going-on face.
And then he peers over my shoulder and sees the wee stick.
" Cuz you got really good odds."
"SERIOUSLY?!?! YOU'RE PREGNANT?"
"Yeah, thats the second one. And I'm taking two more to be sure."
(FYI They were all positive)
Maybe I'm a little compulsive. But four tests is pretty normal, right??

So, that's how it happened. It was a sweet time.

My days are now spent going to bed at 8pm and waking between 1:30 and 4am. Don't ask me why. It just won't stop. I'm told that it will go away soon, which would be nice, since my days of a full night's sleep are numbered for a while.
They are spent figuring out what will smell good, taste good, and satisfy my craving. For some reason its more difficult than it seems. Orange juice, rice, and Panera Bread are really popular right now. And grilled cheeses.
Fabulous news is that I have had zero morning sickness or nausea. My mother is an angel for giving me those genetics. I am eternally grateful! As long as I eat often enough, I'm good to go.

Its still surreal to me that I'm actually experiencing this stuff, talking about being pregnant.
I must admit that I do covet your prayers. For the baby, its health and growth. I whisper this prayer daily, constantly. That I am doing everything I can, and lifting everything up to my God.

I told a friend the other day that the first realization as an expectant mother I had is that this is totally out of my range of control. I can eat right, exercise right, take the right vitamins, read the right books, but when it comes down to it, there is only one Person that can see what is going on with our baby. I cannot control if the baby's developing healthy lungs or a heart, or all the other billions of miniscule things that are going on right now. I can just pray for them. We can't see it, but He can. And that brings me more comfort than any bowl of Panera's french onion soup ever could.

xoxo
dae