Let's Get Real

There are no fun photos for this post. I'll just go ahead and warn you. There isn't really much of what I would call a fun story either, but if you want to know what's been going on lately, feel free to keep scrollin'!
Not that we haven't been doing fun things, we have, but life has been a little... different lately.

I am going to first say, never, ever take general health and well being for granted. I didn't think that I did, but I can be wrong. Maybe not for granted, but definitely overlooked sometimes.
Your normal day-to-day routine, that's priceless. When the doctor comes in and has nothing to tell you other than "Everything looks good!", the words to express how much that mundane sentence means escape me.

First, a few weeks back, when we went to the doctor to get our first ultrasound, what I wasn't ready to write down at the time, and only discuss with family and a few close friends and covet prayers, is that other than that we are so incredibly excited we are having another sweet girl, it wasn't all sunshine and roses during the appointment.
When my doctor came back in to interpret the sonogram results with us that day, we did hear that one sentence no parent is ever prepared to hear. "There is this one thing..." I remember her saying.
And I remember her being very reassuring, and very kind and patient. I remember holding it together in a numb sort of way, holding Kaelyn on my lap and nodding my head. Thinking, "My Jesus, be with her. Please be with her."
And then for some reason I looked into Ben's eyes and broke. I didn't stop crying for hours.
It wasn't horrible news, it could have been so SO much worse, so much more. But when you hear that anything, any one tiny little thing, is not "right" with your child, your unborn child, your heart breaks. A feeling I won't really ever forget. As dramatic as it may sound, a whole new world of sympathy opened up in me for women who do find out bad news while they are pregnant. No words.

Our doctor explained that she has what appears to be Choroid Plexus cysts in her brain, what she explained can be a soft genetic marker for what could possibly be a genetic abnormality.
But the good news? Yes, there is good news. Great news, even. She had no other markers. No 'hard' markers. No red flags, no other concerning measurements or findings.
Let me tell you, it is the strangest feeling in the world to be so scared and worried, and so rejoiceful and thankful at the same time. And that's exactly how we felt. Hopeful, excited, worried sick.

Sometimes the cysts could mean something. A lot of the time they don't. The doctor said she has even seen them just disappear. We may never even know that they are there. There are no serious or long term complications of having the cysts. Amazing.
So we are rejoicing that other than that finding, she looks beautiful and healthy. And constantly praying for her development and any healing. We opted out of additional testing, because we talked about it and personally felt that the tests that are available have 1) such a high false-positive rate that it wasn't worth it, and 2) nothing would change our decision or outcome and excitement over having our baby girl.

Now I can say that the peace and faithfulness that surround us are without a question so present. So strong. I don't worry. I know that no matter what, she is knit and molded according to His will, and she will be perfect and beautiful. And this experience molded us as well.


And then there's this other situation, which in a nutshell is our own personal episode - no, let's go with a full season - of House. You know, the TV show with all those crazy stories of far out and hard to diagnose illnesses.
Yeah, welcome to our version.
Basically, since November Ben has been having on and off again flu-like symptoms. Randomly. Tested negative for the flu several times. High fevers. All sorts of stuff. And then it will go away. And then it comes back. Again and again. And then I started to worry.
Ben is never sick, ever. And missing work and going to the doctor means something is definitely not working right with this tough guy.
So, after several doctor visits, weekend walk-in clinic trips, vial upon vial of drawn blood, missed days of work and worry, words like Meningitis, Lyme Disease, and mono getting thrown around, and a short stint in the ER last weekend with a battery of tests, guess what we found out?
Nothing.
Nada.
"We can't tell you what it is. We aren't finding anything..."
Which, one one hand is very reassuring. Praise our Lord that the didn't find anything serious or alarming, we were thinking! What a blessing!
But can you please tell me howthehecktogetwell?!?!?!?!
Our days have been helter skelter. Nights of no sleep for Ben. Days of just trying to rest. Trying to catch up at home. Trying to catch up at work. His Mom, bless her, came into town to help us out for a few days. Because as one friend of mine put it when I was walking around like a zombie, when you have a great team and your offense is down, the defense standing alone gets worn out pretty fast.
This Mama does not play endurance defense. Worn out. And God love him, Ben was so wanting to get back in the game, but his body has not been cooperating too well.

It get's better. (Not better, but you know what I mean...)
While she is here, Lu gets a call from Mike, Ben's brother. He's headed to the hospital.
Checks into the hospital for, come to find out, similar symptoms. Ben's mom head's down to take care of her kid, Round Two (and they say a mother's work is never done. No kidding!) Words like malaria, tick-borne diseases, tuberculosis are mentioned. He get's into the infectious disease clinic at UAB. Tests, blood, more tests.
Wanna know what they find?
Nothing.
Which on one hand - YAY! On the other hand - WHAT THE HECK?!?!

So now we are on an upswing, we are still asking questions, still checking with doctors. And while some answers we've gotten are great and relieving, no answers can be pretty darn frustrating.

So, we are excited and prayerful for health, and ready to get back to that mundane everyday living I was talking about.
Can I get an amen?


Life is never boring,
d