Here I Am

When we first moved to the 'boro, my main concern was the commute I would have to make to and from work every day. Ever since graduating from college my commutes to work have been under 10 minutes. Now they were going to be 45 minutes on a good day. Well, thats just a wasted hour and a half of my day, was my first thought.
A few weeks after burning up I-24 Monday thru Friday I came to the realization that I wasn't bothered with the commute at all, and it didn't feel wasted. It turned out to be my quiet time, my one-on-one time with my Lord. More often than not I am enjoying a Watermark cd or listening to the Sirius Spirit channel.
Well, the past few days for some reason have been a little more 'real' for me. You know those days when you feel a little more in tune, or touched, or connected with what is going on around and in you? A few things have happened either to me or to others that I know that have made life take on a different perspective. Without going into dramatic detail, lets suffice it to say that I know everyone has peaks and valleys, and these peaks and valleys are what make up the roadtrip we call life. They color our canvas, and they make us who we are. And sharing that journey, no matter what road you are on, can be a blessing to you and others if you share it.

So last night I was on my way home, and turned on the radio, which for some reason was tuned into 89.1FM. Didn't even know that station exitsted. And this song started playing which I still don't know the name of and haven't been able to figure out on Google. But I can't get it out of my head, and in the chorus it said "I am sold out to Christ". Huh. Interesting description. Like that.
Then I started replaying our preachers sermon from Sunday in my head.

He had asked us what our name in Christ was, then asked if we were willing to be renamed. Like Abram was given the new name Abraham, or Sarai was changed to Sarah. Back in those days their name wasn't just a name. It was an accurate description of who they were.
So what was my name? Was it Anger? Bitterness? Doubt? Complacency? And am I really willing, and do I believe, that Christ can change my name? Would I accept it?
See, those who know me know two things: 1) I have a very hard time letting go- of anything, and 2) I tend to like to be in control. So, for God to change my name would mean that I would have to go against those two rules. This is something I deal with constantly in my relationship with Christ. I want Him to be in control, but its still scary.

Then about half way home I put in my Watermark "Purest Place" cd, which I kid you not, always brings me to tears. So we know whats coming...
The song "Knees to the Earth" starts playing, and thank goodness I had on my glasses because my contacts would have been flooded out.
There are times in my life when I feel far, and times in my life when I feel so close to my Christ that I know he is holding me in a bear hug. Last night I got a bear hug. And I realized it had been a long time since I sang the words in that song. "I owe my life to you my Lord, here I am". (You can click there to hear the song)

Its nice to know that God is always waiting no matter how long it takes me to raise my hand and say here I am. Praise Him that he meets us wherever we are. I am rejoicing that last night I was met on I-24 in my Honda.